*walks into bar* *sits in a booth with ppl in it* dont yall love being cis? i love to be cis, its good. (whispering to small lizard under the table: what do cis people drink? milk? you said milk?) yall got milk at this bar?
Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.
this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am